We had something special,
my J.G. and I.
Best buddies for years,
with a hint of romance.
Then the day came,
with that dreadful call.
"Hey hon! Guess what, I got engaged!"
"That's wonderful, hon. I'm really happy."
I lied to him,
I was crying inside.
For the love that I thought had a chance to spark a flame
even though distance keeps us apart,
has now been stomped out by the cruel feet
of 1700 miles.
1990
Friday, June 4, 2010
Untitled
The rain begins again and I am not surprised.
The depression comes continually,
following me through my days.
I feel as if I could never be happy.
As a child,
I held my dreams close because there were many.
Now I hold them close,
because they are few and far between.
I had a love once,
but he is gone and will never return.
That is why my dreams have ended,
never to return,
just like the love I once knew.
1990
The depression comes continually,
following me through my days.
I feel as if I could never be happy.
As a child,
I held my dreams close because there were many.
Now I hold them close,
because they are few and far between.
I had a love once,
but he is gone and will never return.
That is why my dreams have ended,
never to return,
just like the love I once knew.
1990
Ode to My Socks
They aren't very pretty,
and they're falling apart.
The little leather reindeer are coming unsewn.
The colors don't go well together,
but fiver colors seldome do,
and the music box is
running
out of sound.
The little light for Rudolph's nose is
slowly
dying
out.
But every Christmas Eve,
no matter what,
I wear them quite faithfully -
My cute, little, musical socks.
1990
and they're falling apart.
The little leather reindeer are coming unsewn.
The colors don't go well together,
but fiver colors seldome do,
and the music box is
running
out of sound.
The little light for Rudolph's nose is
slowly
dying
out.
But every Christmas Eve,
no matter what,
I wear them quite faithfully -
My cute, little, musical socks.
1990
Ice Cream Man
I was the seller.
My big wheel,
overturned in the driveway,
was the maker.
Holding the pedal I spun the front wheel calling
"Ice cream! Ice cream for sale!"
The others would come,
invisible money in their hands.
Chocolate was a popular choice.
We would play all day long,
Trading off as
The Ice Cream Man,
But being "behind the wheel" was always
more fun for me.
1990
My big wheel,
overturned in the driveway,
was the maker.
Holding the pedal I spun the front wheel calling
"Ice cream! Ice cream for sale!"
The others would come,
invisible money in their hands.
Chocolate was a popular choice.
We would play all day long,
Trading off as
The Ice Cream Man,
But being "behind the wheel" was always
more fun for me.
1990
Forgotten
The soldiers leave,
the ground filled with foxholes
and ditches from the
land mines.
The sandbags still lay
where they were
strategically placed
only days before.
And on the ground,
next to a foxhole,
Lies the shell of a bullet.
A weapon whose insides
were used to
kill
one time,
Which now lies empty and forgotten,
Like the names of those it
may
have
killed.
5/1/1990
the ground filled with foxholes
and ditches from the
land mines.
The sandbags still lay
where they were
strategically placed
only days before.
And on the ground,
next to a foxhole,
Lies the shell of a bullet.
A weapon whose insides
were used to
kill
one time,
Which now lies empty and forgotten,
Like the names of those it
may
have
killed.
5/1/1990
You Jerk (To: J.R.K.)
Yeah, you're a nice guy.
You've been fun to talk to,
but first impressions me a lot;
at least to me, they do.
Stoned.
Don't lie cuz my nose ain't painted on.
I was at my best friend's house,
anxiously awaiting the arrival of the sweet guy
I'd been talking to for all of those hours.
Instead, that guy checked his sweetness at the door,
and you arrived instead.
Yippee.
I understand that you're shy,
and maybe had problems meeting me,
but you showed up stoned.
The sunglasses couldn't hide it either,
dearie.
Thanks a lot, it's been fun.
It's all over now.
Goodbye.
3/23/1990
You've been fun to talk to,
but first impressions me a lot;
at least to me, they do.
Stoned.
Don't lie cuz my nose ain't painted on.
I was at my best friend's house,
anxiously awaiting the arrival of the sweet guy
I'd been talking to for all of those hours.
Instead, that guy checked his sweetness at the door,
and you arrived instead.
Yippee.
I understand that you're shy,
and maybe had problems meeting me,
but you showed up stoned.
The sunglasses couldn't hide it either,
dearie.
Thanks a lot, it's been fun.
It's all over now.
Goodbye.
3/23/1990
Anticipation
Somewhere in the night
I hear you call my name.
I awake, only to find
that I am alone.
You are gone, so far away.
I miss you
and anticipate your return.
2/7/1990
I hear you call my name.
I awake, only to find
that I am alone.
You are gone, so far away.
I miss you
and anticipate your return.
2/7/1990
A Track Star
Jumping, running, sprinting
over the hurdles,
around the corner,
across the finish line.
A track star.
2/6/1990
over the hurdles,
around the corner,
across the finish line.
A track star.
2/6/1990
Today (To: C.B.)
I need to see you.
More and more
I miss you
when you're away.
Your love is what I hunger for.
Please say you love me
Today.....
2/6/1990
More and more
I miss you
when you're away.
Your love is what I hunger for.
Please say you love me
Today.....
2/6/1990
Once I Walked
Once I walked along the snow
where we were once before.
It was a day not long ago,
you said my presence you abhor.
I said I loved you more.
Our violent footprints still remain
covered by an inch or more.
Footprints and snow,
somehow surviving.
Unlike the love that once lived
and now has died.
undated
where we were once before.
It was a day not long ago,
you said my presence you abhor.
I said I loved you more.
Our violent footprints still remain
covered by an inch or more.
Footprints and snow,
somehow surviving.
Unlike the love that once lived
and now has died.
undated
IT
Whether male or female
we can't escape it.
Whether healthy or sick,
it is always there.
It looms above us,
swelling like a storm cloud,
until one day, we receive it.
IT, my friend, is death.
11/8/1989
we can't escape it.
Whether healthy or sick,
it is always there.
It looms above us,
swelling like a storm cloud,
until one day, we receive it.
IT, my friend, is death.
11/8/1989
Finding Hell
She sits alone.
The wind blows around her.
She thinks of the ones she left,
ran away from to become a star.
She thinks of the loneliness of the streets.
The men come and go,
helping her make - what she calls - "An un-honest living".
Did those she left even notice?
She begins to cry.
A fallen angel in the city of angels.
Should she return?
Or should she disappear?
Confused,
Another fallen angel blew her brains out tonight,
searching for heaven....
Finding hell.
10/23/1989
The wind blows around her.
She thinks of the ones she left,
ran away from to become a star.
She thinks of the loneliness of the streets.
The men come and go,
helping her make - what she calls - "An un-honest living".
Did those she left even notice?
She begins to cry.
A fallen angel in the city of angels.
Should she return?
Or should she disappear?
Confused,
Another fallen angel blew her brains out tonight,
searching for heaven....
Finding hell.
10/23/1989
The Silent Sound of a Hold
You put me on hold.
I sit and listen to the dead airspace.
It captivates me,
almost hypnotizing me.
I'm still holding.
I get to the point where I don't mind the quiet hum of the air,
to the point where time has no meaning,
and suddenly you return
apologizing for making me hold so long
and I think Gee, I was just starting to have fun
in the silent sounds of a hold.
9/28/1989
I sit and listen to the dead airspace.
It captivates me,
almost hypnotizing me.
I'm still holding.
I get to the point where I don't mind the quiet hum of the air,
to the point where time has no meaning,
and suddenly you return
apologizing for making me hold so long
and I think Gee, I was just starting to have fun
in the silent sounds of a hold.
9/28/1989
Untitled (but strange)
It's cold outside
They say it's warm inside,
but I am cold.
My fingers are numbing
and so are my toes.
They tell me I'm sick
but I don't listen.
I sit alone,
on a white chair,
in a black room,
waiting for the cold to engulf me.
Waiting for it to suck me in
and make me invisible.
I wait and I wait,
I fall asleep
and I never wake up.
9/28/1989
They say it's warm inside,
but I am cold.
My fingers are numbing
and so are my toes.
They tell me I'm sick
but I don't listen.
I sit alone,
on a white chair,
in a black room,
waiting for the cold to engulf me.
Waiting for it to suck me in
and make me invisible.
I wait and I wait,
I fall asleep
and I never wake up.
9/28/1989
Poetry On a Batch Header
It's all quiet on the banking front
except for the coin roller jingling.
I can hear the hum of our machines
and cash drawers opening and closing.
Someone's telling silly jokes,
and the roofers are pounding and banging.
(God - it's so slow today!)
Occasionally, an adding machine will make a paper,
making for easy adding.
You might fight this noisy,
but this is the quiet
when you work in the world of banking.
8/8/1989
except for the coin roller jingling.
I can hear the hum of our machines
and cash drawers opening and closing.
Someone's telling silly jokes,
and the roofers are pounding and banging.
(God - it's so slow today!)
Occasionally, an adding machine will make a paper,
making for easy adding.
You might fight this noisy,
but this is the quiet
when you work in the world of banking.
8/8/1989
Even Though My Heart Belongs To Him (To: B.M.)
My eyes are tired,
they burn and water when I close them.
My body is exhausted,
I am tired but I cannot sleep.
I think about you a lot,
but my heart belongs to him.
I don't know what I feel for you,
but something is still there between us.
I haven't seen you in a long time,
but that doesn't matter.
I don't care how you look,
I don't care if you're too fat or too thin.
Something will always be between us -
Something very special and private.
I kissed you once,
I'd do it again.
I miss you B,
especially when I hear our song.
I need to see you soon-
and find our special feeling -
Even though my heart belongs to him.
6/13/1989
they burn and water when I close them.
My body is exhausted,
I am tired but I cannot sleep.
I think about you a lot,
but my heart belongs to him.
I don't know what I feel for you,
but something is still there between us.
I haven't seen you in a long time,
but that doesn't matter.
I don't care how you look,
I don't care if you're too fat or too thin.
Something will always be between us -
Something very special and private.
I kissed you once,
I'd do it again.
I miss you B,
especially when I hear our song.
I need to see you soon-
and find our special feeling -
Even though my heart belongs to him.
6/13/1989
Your Eyes (To: J.D.)
The first time my eyes met yours was in a crowded choir room.
I hadn't noticed them before,
but this time I did and thought "hmmmm......
There is a boy with big brown eyes,
and a body that doesn't stop."
You smiled and I looked away
embarrassed but happy, too.
And what I wondered was when's the day
that I could hold and touch you.
When I looked back you were looking at me,
with that same smile in your eyes.
Suddenly I awoke and found you holding me in your arms.
I thought it had been a dream but it was true.
J.D. I can't live without being in those arms,
I guess....I love you.
3/10/1989
I hadn't noticed them before,
but this time I did and thought "hmmmm......
There is a boy with big brown eyes,
and a body that doesn't stop."
You smiled and I looked away
embarrassed but happy, too.
And what I wondered was when's the day
that I could hold and touch you.
When I looked back you were looking at me,
with that same smile in your eyes.
Suddenly I awoke and found you holding me in your arms.
I thought it had been a dream but it was true.
J.D. I can't live without being in those arms,
I guess....I love you.
3/10/1989
Sounds
I lie awake and listen to the sounds.
Somewhere, far away, a dog is barking.
A horn honks down the street
as someone's boyfriend leaves for home.
My father snores from the next room,
and the party next door is dying down.
I hear an occasional truck horn or police siren
from the highway near my house.
A sprinkler dampens someone's lawn
as the birds return to their nests.
These are all the sounds I hear
before I go to sleep each night.
undated
Somewhere, far away, a dog is barking.
A horn honks down the street
as someone's boyfriend leaves for home.
My father snores from the next room,
and the party next door is dying down.
I hear an occasional truck horn or police siren
from the highway near my house.
A sprinkler dampens someone's lawn
as the birds return to their nests.
These are all the sounds I hear
before I go to sleep each night.
undated
Drip Drops
I can hear the rhythm of the water.
It keeps just drip, drop, drip, dropping into the sink.
I'm too tired to get up and turn it off,
so I just let it go on drip, dropping.
Eventually I find myself drifting off to sleep,
and the drip drops just fade away.
undated
It keeps just drip, drop, drip, dropping into the sink.
I'm too tired to get up and turn it off,
so I just let it go on drip, dropping.
Eventually I find myself drifting off to sleep,
and the drip drops just fade away.
undated
And I'll Love You Forever (To: S.C.)
I saw yo many months ago
Working in a grocery store.
I thought I'd never meet you though,
Once I walked out that door.
I told myself "ok, who cares",
but it didn't seem to work.
I always checked if you were there,
But I wasn't when you were.
Now I met you through a guy named ***,
Who's now a very good friend.
Now we meet and like a bomb,
Our love will never end.
I love that great cologne you wear,
I love when you kiss my neck,
I love that adorable red hair,
Did I mention about the neck?
I hope we never find that day
When we must say goodbye.
Cause when I see you smile that way
my heart tries hard to fly.
My love for you will always be strong
And I could leave you never.
The time for our love will be very long
and I'll love you forever.
6/5/1988
Working in a grocery store.
I thought I'd never meet you though,
Once I walked out that door.
I told myself "ok, who cares",
but it didn't seem to work.
I always checked if you were there,
But I wasn't when you were.
Now I met you through a guy named ***,
Who's now a very good friend.
Now we meet and like a bomb,
Our love will never end.
I love that great cologne you wear,
I love when you kiss my neck,
I love that adorable red hair,
Did I mention about the neck?
I hope we never find that day
When we must say goodbye.
Cause when I see you smile that way
my heart tries hard to fly.
My love for you will always be strong
And I could leave you never.
The time for our love will be very long
and I'll love you forever.
6/5/1988
Fourth Grade Blues
Even though I'm not a child
I can still act like one.
Gingerbread cookies drive me wild,
Getting dirty is still lots of fun.
"Hide n Go Seek", the game's just great,
and so is "T.V. Tag".
Don't forget all the candy I ate,
Growing up is such a drag.
"Sit up straight and be a lady"
"One helping is enough"
"stop all that being a baby"
Gosh these things are tough!
"Comb your hair"
"and tie your shoes"
"and don't sit there!"
I've got the fourth grade blues.
1-10-1988
(note: I was not a fourth grader in 1988, guess this one just came to me)
I can still act like one.
Gingerbread cookies drive me wild,
Getting dirty is still lots of fun.
"Hide n Go Seek", the game's just great,
and so is "T.V. Tag".
Don't forget all the candy I ate,
Growing up is such a drag.
"Sit up straight and be a lady"
"One helping is enough"
"stop all that being a baby"
Gosh these things are tough!
"Comb your hair"
"and tie your shoes"
"and don't sit there!"
I've got the fourth grade blues.
1-10-1988
(note: I was not a fourth grader in 1988, guess this one just came to me)
The Very First (To: R.S.)
You're the very first.
The first to say you love me,
The first to say I'm beautiful.
You're the very first,
The first to love my eyes,
my boring, brown eyes.
You're the very first,
The first I ever truly loved with all my heart,
The first I'd want to spend every moment with -
Night or day.
What I'm trying to tell you is.....
I love you.
6-22-1987
The first to say you love me,
The first to say I'm beautiful.
You're the very first,
The first to love my eyes,
my boring, brown eyes.
You're the very first,
The first I ever truly loved with all my heart,
The first I'd want to spend every moment with -
Night or day.
What I'm trying to tell you is.....
I love you.
6-22-1987
You Change (To: B.L.)
I wish you could have seen my face
the day you broke my heart.
My eyes looked red and out of place,
but not to your cold heart.
You left me with no one to care about,
No one was left to love me.
Now you've got her and I've got nothing,
I hope this makes you happy.
Because it hurts inside of me
to see you two together,
I hope that very soon she'll see
You change just like the weather.
2/15/1987
the day you broke my heart.
My eyes looked red and out of place,
but not to your cold heart.
You left me with no one to care about,
No one was left to love me.
Now you've got her and I've got nothing,
I hope this makes you happy.
Because it hurts inside of me
to see you two together,
I hope that very soon she'll see
You change just like the weather.
2/15/1987
Let The Secrets Out
There is a little box I have
where I keep all of my secrets.
One day, when I'm old and grey
I'd like to see my childhood secrets
and maybe laugh a little.
I hope that I remember
that day in many years,
to open up my special box
And let the secrets out.
2/3/1987
where I keep all of my secrets.
One day, when I'm old and grey
I'd like to see my childhood secrets
and maybe laugh a little.
I hope that I remember
that day in many years,
to open up my special box
And let the secrets out.
2/3/1987
Somehow
There is a place that I can see
that is meant for only me.
It's around, not far away,
Maybe I'll find it again someday.
Until I find that special place,
where no strangers know my face,
I wait around and maybe look
for that very special nook.
Where I can finally be just me,
and no one cares that I'm just me.
I don't know where I'll find it now.
But maybe I'll find it, somehow.
2/3/1987
that is meant for only me.
It's around, not far away,
Maybe I'll find it again someday.
Until I find that special place,
where no strangers know my face,
I wait around and maybe look
for that very special nook.
Where I can finally be just me,
and no one cares that I'm just me.
I don't know where I'll find it now.
But maybe I'll find it, somehow.
2/3/1987
First and foremost
This is poetry I wrote between 1987 and 1995. There are a few that I have thrown in that were written for me, but I left the author's name out because I did not ask their permission. Some of it is downright horrid, some of it is pretty good. I just wanted to put it somewhere electronic instead of in these notebooks. And hey, you never know who might see it, right? teehee So, enjoy, whether you think it's good poetry or you're enjoying out of laughing at it, that's fine with me. Just have a nice time while you're here.
~AMY~
~AMY~
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